Taking Some Stock....

I just read this blog post from another blogger's link. It's going "viral." You can read it HERE. Basically what she said hit home to me and I feel like a good friend has just come alongside me and just kinda said "hey I don't think you can see that you are doing a lot of these things and I am just wondering what your true motive is and I hope that it is not done out of pride, jealousy or some other unrighteous motive."

I wanted to leave a blog post comment but then soon realized I have way too much to say about myself to try to put into just a comment. So I am writing a little blog post (to myself basically) to remind myself why I participate in social media and to gauge whether I should continue at the rate I have been at.

I am a "facebooker" as my husband would say. I enjoy keeping up with other people's lives on there and I enjoy posting from time-to-time (read: not 3 times a day and not unless I feel I have something of some worth to say) and I upload pictures of Jonah fairly regularly too. I will admit thought that I am "on" Facebook a lot more than I know I should be. I am also on blogs and my own blog a lot more than I probably should be. I definitely know I am on Pinterest a lot more than I should be.

I have justified all this in the past with, "I work from home everyday and I am on the computer all day and I just don't get the social interaction that I used to get from an office environment." And some of that is true. But over the time spent on these medias, I know I have become somewhat of an "abuser." I need to dial it back and I need to do it now, before Jonah catches on to what all of it is about.

I never thought about it from his perspective. I am posting things about him and pictures of him (mostly all in good nature) but he has no say and that stuff is going to live on FOREVER on the big WWW. I need to think about this a little more. How would I feel if I grew up and learned that lots of people I didn't even know, knew so much about me (good or bad), and I never had a say in any of it! Well I wouldn't be too happy about that, I don't think.

Also, the other area she discusses is going crazy over out-doing the next Mom with parties for our children. I feel somewhat guilty in that but it wasn't to impress my real-life, friend, Moms. It was to impress people I don't even know out in blog-land or FB! Yes some of it was just fun for me because I love to plan and orchestrate parties (showers, gatherings, entertaining in general) and I love to craft and make things. So I get some joy and feeling of accomplishment when I create an adorable pennant banner for my son's birthday that I use after the party is over in his playroom. I also get enjoyment out of hosting friends and family and feeding them a lovely tasting meal and seeing their joy in that.  But I cannot sit here and lie that if someone else compliments or "likes" my party pictures, my punch recipe or my cupcake tower, that I don't get a big head. Because I certainly do and that is prideful.

"Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." Galatians 6:4

"The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

I guess I am not sure what else I really want to say....

I am guilty as charged in these areas and I do believe there is a root of sin somewhere in some of my past actions online. Perhaps it's obvious to others, perhaps not. Either way it is something that I should seek forgiveness for. And that I should forgive in others.

The problem I have is that I have always been hard on myself so much more than other people are to me. I expect so much of myself that sometimes I just expect the impossible. Comparing myself with what others have, do and are is just setting myself up for failure. So I can either remove myself from the situations and places entirely or I can grow myself by learning to adjust my expectations and reactions to what I encounter online. I think the latter is more what God would have me to do. To uplift others and to be honest with myself and limitations. And most importantly to put God first and then my family and then everything else will fall into place.