As a brand new Mommy I have learned many new things about myself and about caring for a baby. I have not learned them by reading a pregnancy or parenting book but by experience alone. Some of these things could be considered undesireable but mostly they are just facts of life once a precious baby enters the picture. These are all things that totally knocked me off my feet...at least momentarily....because no one explained that they would happen, or in some cases I was warned but it didn't really sink in until I lived it. I am going to attempt to list at least some of the things I've learned so far but please know that this list is just skimming the surface.
1. Babies do not "sleep like a baby." I always thougth that babies sleep all the time. In fact I was told that by many people. I knew I would probably be a little more tired than usual. I really was clueless! Babies do sleep during the day but they don't like to sleep at NIGHT!!!
2. Labor is nothing like what you see in the movies or on TV......let me say that again....it is NOTHING like that!!
3. When you hold your baby for the first time you will fall in love with something that scares the bejeebies out of you!!
4. You cannot take care of a newborn baby all by yourself. You will need someone by your side day and night to help you. This is the part where I learned that I (and God) had picked the best possible partner for me to have in this life.
5. When people brag and say that "oh their baby was in a good routine by 6 weeks old" that they are probably lying because babies don't have routines. At least not in the way that adults have routines. If they poop once a day, eat every 2-3 hours and sleep all day and are up all night then I guess you got yourself a good routine there.
6. You will wear maternity clothes for at least a couple of months after you have the baby. You will not want to wear regular clothes. Note to self - next time buy maternity clothes that will last this long.
7. Being productive is getting a shower sometime during the day. I made this a priority. Somedays I put off eating (even when I was starving) when I had the time so that I could get my shower in.
8. Babies get gas really bad. Umm.....I was not aware of this fact until my baby was screaming and I didn't know what to do and someone said well he must have a "little gas". WTH!!! Baby gas was created by the devil plain and simple.
9. I used to love to have people over to my house to visit....entertain as they say. Well once a baby comes people want to come to your house more than they ever will again in your life. The only problem with that is you don't want anyone to come over to see your house in it's current state or to see you in your current state. Refer to #7.
10. Many people will try to assure that "it will get easier with time". These people are very well intentioned but give very bad advice. Yes you will adjust and things will "seem" easier. But they don't just all of a sudden get easier. They get different. Yes different is a better word choice I think.
11. You will have a major adjustment in your pool of close friends. Your friends that don't have babies will just kind of disappear. They will come see the baby and then you won't see or even think about them for a couple of months. What is even harder is when you have friends that want a baby and can't have one. They are sometimes the hardest ones to be around. You want to continue the friendship but it can never be the same. See you have something that they want so badly that it is sometimes physically hard for them to be around you. You tell them, with a screaming baby in your arms, "is this really what you want?" And they just look at your precious baby and say, "yes I would love to have this."
12. You will reach a point in the beginning months of having a baby where you feel overwhelmed most of the time. You will not be able to keep up the house, yourself or even fix a decent meal. This is the point where I learned that I can choose to be hard on myself or I can just let it go. I will admit this is still something I deal with everyday. I keep choosing to let myself off the hook.
13. You will think back to your pre-baby days and wonder what the heck was I doing with all that free time? I could have been writing a novel, exercising 3 hours a day, etc.... Time becomes this elusive thing that you need more of but can never have.
14. You will want to literally give your new baby the world and everything in it.
15. When you husband lovingly and kindly offers his help, you should take it. He needs to help you as a new father and a man and you need to let him. You are not superwoman and he loves you anyways. This advice will save you from having a blow-up fight at 2 a.m.
16. People will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. This is a wonderful idea. The only problem is that the actual practice of it is very unrealistic. I found that the only thing that kept me sane was to take a break and sit for a few minutes and then get up and get something done. Even if it was just to fold a basket of laundry. It gave me more peace of mind that any nap could have.
17. You will find that deep love for your baby and it will be the truest form of love that you have ever experienced.
18. You will have a deeper understanding of our God and His love for you through the tangible love that you have for your baby. It is the same love that He had for His Son. The difference is that He sent His Son to die for you and me. Could I ever imagine doing the same??
19. You will enjoy receiving compliments about your baby far more than any compliment someone can give you personally.
20. You will eventually get to wear normal clothes again and feel human again. That at the very least I can promise you. I cannot promise that you will have your house clean all at the same time, the laundry caught up or the gourmet meal prepared. But who wants to do all that when you have a sweet baby to play with right now!!
Sorry for the long post but I needed to get all that off my chest and just in case I ever need to remind myself of these things.
courage for the week 4.30.17
1 hour ago